soap

need i say more?

the game that spurred it all

late, but worth the wait... (kinda like me!)

At 94, Buck O'Neil Plays in All-Star Game

July 19, 2006

KANSAS CITY, Kan. (AP) -- John Jordan "Buck" O'Neil never got a free pass in life. The grandson of a man brought to this continent a slave, O'Neil moved to Kansas City to avoid racial persecution in the Deep South. He played baseball during an era of segregation, and earlier this year was denied entry into the National Baseball Hall of Fame by a special 12-member panel.

It figures that on Tuesday night, when the 94-year-old O'Neil stepped into the batter's box during a minor league All-Star game, nobody could quibble over an intentional walk.

Except maybe O'Neil and a few thousand fans.

"I just might take a swing at one," he said before Tuesday night's Northern League All-Star game.

Leading off for the West in the top of the first inning, O'Neil argued with the umpire after the first pitch from Kansas City T-Bones pitcher Jonathan Krysa sailed high and was called a ball. After another high pitch that narrowly missed his head, O'Neil took a called strike before being walked, as planned.

O'Neil ambled to first base, then took a lead off the bag as if he were going to stay in the game before being pulled for a pinch runner.

After the top of the inning, T-Bones owner John Ehlert announced that a trade had been brokered to bring O'Neil to the T-Bones, allowing him to also lead off the bottom of the inning.

In his second at-bat, O'Neil took three balls - all of them high and greeted with a chorus of boos from the crowd - before swinging at a pitch and almost spinning off his feet. Possibly lost in the novelty of the inning, the umpire gave him two more balls before sending him down to first base with his second walk of the night.

The T-Bones signed O'Neil to a one-day contract, making him the oldest man ever to play professional baseball. He surpassed 83-year-old Jim Eriotes, who struck out in a minor league game in South Dakota earlier this month, by more than a decade.

"This is special, very special," O'Neil said after his second at-bat. "I've been in baseball 70 years. This is how I made my living. And here I am at 94 with a bat in my hand."

Clad in a red-and-white Kansas City Monarchs jersey, O'Neil said he thought the last time he had swung a bat in a game was in 1955.

Asked if he remembered who he was facing in that last at-bat, he replied: "I don't remember yesterday and you ask me who the pitcher was in 1955?"

Nobody disputes that O'Neil's involvement in the game bordered on a gimmick. But O'Neil's supporters hope it also provides more ammunition in their quest to get him into Cooperstown.

In May, 17 people from the Negro Leagues and pre-Negro Leagues eras were voted into the Baseball Hall of Fame. On a day that was to be his crowning achievement, O'Neil quietly sat at the Negro Leagues Baseball Museum in Kansas City, Mo., and accepted that his name wasn't called.

"It was a roller coaster for everybody except him," said Bob Kendrick, the museum's director of marketing. "Certainly he was disappointed. But he taught us how to handle disappointment. In the scope of things that have happened in his life, not getting into the Hall pales in comparison."

Since the ballot was cast, the T-Bones have become the unofficial champions of Buck O'Neil.

The club has been passing petitions through the stands at all home games, asking commissioner Bud Selig or former commissioner Fay Vincent to intervene. T-Bones officials say they've already collected more than 10,000 signatures.

"The Negro Leagues were the original independent baseball," Ehlert said. "And Buck O'Neil is the patriarch of independent baseball."

Standing in the shade at CommunityAmerica Ballpark, John Park labored Tuesday to gather signatures, already sweating through a white T-shirt that read "Sign the petition. Get Buck in the Hall."

"He's a legend in his own time," said Park, 59, from Kansas City, Kan. "I don't know all of the statistics. I'm just saying how I feel."

Across the stadium, opposite O'Neil's name emblazoned on the outfield wall, Abbey Evert marveled that the sinewy, old right-hander was stepping to the plate on a day when temperatures in Kansas topped 100 degrees.

"It's pretty crazy," said Evert, 17, from Shawnee, Kan. "That's someone who really loves baseball."

But O'Neil dismissed concerns about the heat.

"This is Kansas City weather," he said. "We used to play doubleheaders in this weather with wool uniforms."

A lifetime .288 hitter and two-time Negro League batting champion, O'Neil became Major League Baseball's first black coach with the Chicago Cubs. He went on to discover Hall of Famer Lou Brock and countless others as a scout, and now works tirelessly with Kendrick to keep alive the story of the Negro leagues.

His exclusion from the Hall of Fame caught nearly everybody by surprise. Players including Hank Aaron, Ernie Banks and Brock took aim at the selection process, and Rep. Emanuel Cleaver, D-Kansas City, said the vote had left "a community in tears."

"He should be celebrated in baseball," said Kansas City T-Bones manager "Dirty" Al Gallagher, a former San Francisco Giants third baseman who met O'Neil in the late 1960s. "Why the commissioner hasn't put him in the Hall of Fame, I have no idea."

By DAVE SKRETTA
Associated Press Writer

biking for buck

awesome article!



Please allow me to ask a favor. Three kids and their high school teacher are biking halfway across the United States to spread the gospel of Buck O'Neil. Early on, they lost another rider when he passed out, mid-pedal, in Oregon, and then they soldiered on through 130-degree heat in Death Valley, and now, 1,300 miles from their destination, they are almost broke.

Which is really throwing a wrench in their plans to spend the next 10 days as they've spent the last 12: Retracing the path of a Negro Leagues barnstorming tour from their hometown, Seattle, to Kansas City, Mo., where they expect to present Buck with 10,000 signatures from fans who believe he belongs in the National Baseball Hall of Fame for his role as the present-day emissary and pied piper of the Negro Leagues, among many other contributions.

Five of those signatures come from the group at Chief Sealth High compelled to partake in this bike-for-Buck idea. Yuto Fukushige moved to the United States five months ago from Japan. Chunda Zeng emigrated here from China two years ago. Jasdeep Saran came to Seattle from India five years ago. All of them play baseball for Gary Thomsen, and none of them knew about Buck until taking Thomsen's sports-marketing class. Amanda Zahler, the 18-year-old organizer of the trip, was also in the class, and she is anything but a fifth wheel, even if she does spend her days in the 30-foot truck that rumbles a short distance ahead of the bikers, spreading word of their journey.

So join me in doing a good deed for Buck, still very much alive at 94 years old and eminently deserving recognition leading up to this week's Hall of Fame inductions.

Help the kids make it to Kansas City.

Go to their Web site, www.thanksbuck.com. Read their diaries. See their mission. And then donate some money, either through the link on the page's left side or through PayPal with the e-mail address paypal@thanksamillionbuckthetrip.com. I chipped in $100. If another 65 people pledge that, it will be more than enough to fund the rest of the trip, and any excess money will go to the Buck O'Neil Education and Research Center, a $15 million project being undertaken by the Negro Leagues Baseball Museum in Kansas City.

"People think it's so tough what we're doing," Amanda said. "It's nothing compared to what these men went through to play a game. We're not doing much."

They are biking more than 3,000 miles, through seven states, lauding the man who half the group has never met.

"I am tired," Yuto said. "I am hungry."

He paused for a second. He's still learning English.

"And I am having a great time."

There was no mistaking his genuineness. He wants to tell everyone that Buck O'Neil deserves to be in the Hall of Fame and that the 12-person special committee screwed up when it excluded him from a group of 17 Negro Leagues players, managers and executives who will be inducted Sunday and that nothing will stop them from telling his story, not even the worst kind of bad luck.

"We were in Grants Pass in Oregon," Jasdeep said. "We were sleeping in the back of the truck. Chunda was sleeping at the end where the door was open. I was sleeping right next to him. And he started yelling at me. He thought I was grabbing him. A cat had jumped into the truck."

It was black.

---

In the 1930s, traveling exhibition teams played some of the world's best baseball. Satchel Paige would find the places that promised the most money and take his All-Stars from city to city on barnstorming tours.

Buck O'Neil spent those days with Paige, the great pitcher, learning and laughing. They traversed the country to play in front of sold-out crowds, giving Buck years' worth of tales, like the story behind Paige calling him Nancy.

When in South Dakota, Paige met an Indian woman named Nancy, and he invited her to Chicago. Paige's future wife, Lahoma, showed up, too, so Paige sent Nancy to the hotel room next to Buck's. Before they went to sleep, Paige wanted to talk with Nancy. He banged on her door and said, "Nancy, Nancy, Nancy." And right as Lahoma came out to see the ruckus, Buck jumped out of his room and said, "What, Satchel?"

People know this story because Buck tells it at least twice a day. Unless they saw Ken Burns' brilliant 1994 documentary "Baseball" or have visited the Negro Leagues museum, they might not know much more about black baseball before Jackie Robinson.

"It's frustrating when you're at a high school like ours, which is largely made up of minorities, yet the only available resources when it comes to baseball are on white baseball," Thomsen said. "The black baseball experience is completely forgotten. Mainstream America hasn't looked at the contribution these black ballplayers have made."

Particularly in the Western United States. The best Negro Leagues teams played east of Kansas City, so research on the West was sparse. To help fill the gap, Thomsen's sports-marketing classes in 1999 and 2000 researched the subject and put together an even more ambitious itinerary: 22 kids rode more than 5,000 miles over 71 days, stopping in cities where the Negro Leagues were most popular to play a game.

Thomsen had kept in touch with Buck and planned some kind of celebration in anticipation of his Hall of Fame induction this year. He seemed a shoo-in: decent player (a Negro Leagues batting title), excellent manager (five Negro Leagues championships), superb scout (he signed Ernie Banks and Lou Brock), the first black coach in the major leagues and now an ambassador for black baseball who's so busy he must be cloned. The snub, from a group of academics, shocked Thomsen, commissioner Bud Selig – who always says he believes Buck deserves to be in the Hall – and everyone else in baseball.

And it helped build consensus among Thomsen's students that they would do their part, however small.

"It was one of those nice teaching moments where you had all of the kids engaged," Thomsen said. "And by the end of the week, they were going, Well, this isn't right.'

"It wasn't just what Buck did for black baseball. It was what black baseball did for Buck."

To find that out, students strained their eyes reading microfiche. They went to Bozeman, Mont., and Medicine Hat, Alberta, interviewing Negro Leagues players and stumbling upon the unknown, like baseball cards. Really, some players had baseball cards, which were actually used as business cards.

"You learn that the guys who played baseball, who proved that baseball has nothing to do with race, were the Negro Leagues players," Chunda said. "I should somehow appreciate them."

Every time Chunda pedals, he does. He's getting one step closer to Buck and one further from all the strangers he taught about Buck. He hasn't told the Nancy story because he doesn't know it. Soon enough he will.

"When I see him, I will not know what I say," Yuto said. "But I'm going to thank him for sure."

---

There is something very old-fashioned about this bike ride. A group of kids felt an injustice. They wanted to remedy it as best they could, and being that the Hall of Fame's policies allow barely a sliver of hope for Buck's enshrining, they pedal in silent protest: heads down, biting their tongues, pushing, kicking, grinding for a greater good, much like Buck himself did as a player during segregation.

"I want to be a part of something big," Jasdeep said. "I'm not a quitter. If I committed to something, I want to finish. And no matter what I'll do, I'll get it done.

"I want to show people what someone can do for the love of baseball."

Originally, they were supposed to leave on July 2. The support truck arrived 10 days late, throwing off their entire schedule. The leg to San Francisco was canceled. Mayors who were supposed to sign 6-foot-tall bats no longer had time. Spencer Gray, the fourth rider, went home because of lingering effects from his crash. Media appearances dried up. The heat in Death Valley, which felt like a blow dryer held to their cheeks, made them want to return to Seattle.

However bad it got, they thought of Buck. They saw him shrug off 100-degree heat and stifling humidity last week in Kansas City to appear at the independent Northern League's All-Star game. The stunt worked two-fold: Buck got his publicity and a nice chunk of change from the Northern League for the education center.

And Thomsen also told them a story about the class' trip in 2000. They had spent two years planning it and were still $7,000 shy of their budget. In the two weeks leading up to the trip, the kids made the money.

Which makes it a safe bet that Aug. 4, four bikes and a truck will pull into the 18th and Vine district in Kansas City. Buck, fresh off delivering the first speech on Hall of Fame weekend, will take them out for dinner at the Peach Tree restaurant for the first good meal they've had in three weeks and thank them.

"We'll make it," Chunda said.

"They don't know what defeat is," Thomsen said. "They don't know impossible. Because they haven't seen that. And they're not going to."

By Jeff Passan, Yahoo! Sports
July 26, 2006

chatting online

oh geez, i'm chatting online. guess from where i started talking to the person? craigslist. yes, bloody craigslist. i always say, if i'm on craigslist, obviously something not good is going on in my life. anyway, he had an amusing post, so i responded to it, platonically, and he wrote back and so we're sending emails back and forth. :-p

the funny thing is he's not even anywhere around here - he's actually across the country in the state i want to move to. that's actually why i was on craigslist last night to begin with. i wanted to see if the people in that state wrote the same stupid shit as the people out here - basically if the folks were as retarded as the people here. of course, what i found (no surprise) is that people are people, and the same ignorance that's bred one place can be found in another.

update: oh shit, he just asked for a picture and i just sent one. i hate the picture thing. but he sent a picture w/ his first response, so considering we've exchanged about 12 emails (9 or so are in the last hour), i'd say he 'deserves' a pic. but ugh, i hate it. i can't think of a more nerve-wracking experience. will someone of the opposite sex think you're attractive? i'd always thought i was semi-to pretty damn attractive until i started sending pictures to guys online. after so many of them receiving a picture and then my never hearing from them again, i realized apparently they didn't see the same thing i did.

looks like he's written back, so i'm going to go and check what he wrote. eeks!

update: ok, he saw the picture and he responded. he said "cute... lol." and then wrote more. so that either means:
- he genuinely thinks i'm cute, in which case if he sees me in person, he'll think i'm much prettier (not a bragging thing - just something i've been told by every guy i've met from online; they all say, "wow, you're a lot prettier in person," which makes me think, um, how did i look in my picture?), or
- he's a nice guy who's trying to be polite.

hopefully it's the former rather than latter.

but i'm not supposed to care. i don't want to date anyone! i definitely don't want to go to that state already "talking" to someone. and his post had a lot more sex in it than i would've preferred. granted, it was a long-ass post. and i guess any sex mention would've been more than i preferred b/c i'm avoiding sex.

and he hasn't written back yet.

and i really wish i didn't care.

b/c i know it's not about him - not about this guy who i've never met, who i've just talked to today - that i'm freaking out; it's my own insecurities and rejection issues.

still and all, knowing that doesn't make it much easier.


update: well, it looks like it was the latter. oh well. guess there's a reason, right.

next day update: he wrote back maybe seven hours later so we're kind of chatting. definitely not talking, but chatting. i'm not really sure if he even enjoys talking to me, so i almost feel like saying, "you don't need to talk just to be nice." but that would just display my insecurities a little too much, i think. that's why i don't like getting into it w/ a guy; i get too paranoid or whatever.

joe on stephen

unfortunately, it's not as kinky as it sounds! i'm watching the colbert report (that's "col-bear re-pore"). so anyway, joe scarborough was a guest and i know his eyes are kind of squinted and he looks a little bloated and he's a pub, but he's so cute. haha. geez, that's pathetic. i was watching it yesterday w/ this football player, dhani jones, who is a bow-tie-wearing, poetry-reading-and-reciting linebacker. my dad was convinced the guy wasn't a linebacker b/c he didn't fit the profile. my mom and i were saying to him, "that's the point; he's not fitting the profile. that's a good thing." (btw, i got my joe pic from infohunks.)

for some reason, i think stephen colbert is kinda cute when he's laughing. geez, that's nuts. keep all the guys away from me; apparently i'm on guy-drooling mode.

emotional mohicans

yesterday, i watched - surprise, surprise - the last of the mohicans again. of course, this time i didn't watch the last ten minutes of the movie and when one character cut out the heart of someone else, i plugged my ears and turned my head. anyway, i think i realized what made me so upset about the movie [note - spoiler] :

1. both maj. duncan and hawkeye loved cora. cora turned down duncan's marriage proposal, and she loved hawkeye. understandably, duncan hated hawkeye. at the end of the movie, when cora was going to be burned at the stake and hawkeye yelled that he wanted to take her place, instead of duncan translating that to the native american chief, he said that he - duncan, that is - wanted to take cora's place.

ok, i know i just lost you, so let me rephrase it. duncan and cora were taken captive by this native american (n.a.) tribe, and hawkeye came to rescue them. the n.a. chief declared that duncan, an english soldier, should be returned to the english army, cora should be burned at the stake to avenge the deaths of n.a. people, and hawkeye was pardoned. hawkeye was speaking in english to duncan, who was translating it to french for the chief (obviously, the chief spoke french). when hawkeye realized cora was going to be killed, he yelled to the chief that he wanted to be killed in her place. hawkeye told duncan to make the translation. instead of duncan translating that hawkeye would take cora's place, he translated that he himself wanted to take her place. so they burned duncan at the stake.

what bothered me is i think the only reason duncan asked to be killed in cora's place was because he loved her, even though she didn't love him. think about it - if he loved her and she loved him back, then it's understandable that he might want to give his life instead of hers. but to give your life for someone who doesn't even like you? on top of that, he originally hated hawkeye, but he volunteered to die so that hawkeye and cora could be together.

(last quote on the page)

that's like me loving some guy, and the guy doesn't like me but is in love w/ this other woman. someone is going to kill the guy and the woman says she'll take his place. instead, i jump in the middle to take both of their places so they can live happily ever after. that's intense.

and of course, i would've preferred a death scene where duncan just died, but of course he had to yell while he was being burned, which honestly sucked. also, even though cora's dad, edmund's, death scene lasted a few seconds, it was still hard to watch him struggle as magua (this other dude) sliced edmund's heart out of his body because he yelled and his leg started spazzing out. which brings me to point 2...

2. i don't think it's the death that bothers me so much, but rather the dying. for instance, if someone were to be here one minute and then dead the next, i wouldn't be thrilled, but i'd be ok. but the fact that people have to suffer while they're dying - that really fucks with my head. i really don't like that. that's why i can watch movies like die hard where people pretty much die instantly - it's fake and it's kind of exciting. but watching more realistic movies that shows people suffering before they die, ugh. which leads to final point...

3. it makes me think of this dumb war and say, "why the hell are we killing people?" what is up with that? i mean, violence begets more violence. it really doesn't make the world safer. it pisses off people, who want to get revenge, and the cycle is just perpetuated.

and despite the fact that we are so desensitized to all the death that's happening in iraq and other places, we don't see the picture of the suffering. we see the final numbers of how many people died that day, but we don't see the pain they went through as they were dying. we don't see the pain that other people went through when they were dying. the lucky ones get riddled with bullets or get blown to pieces instantly. there's many more, though, who might take minutes or hours to die, who are burned to death, or might have someone cut their limbs from their body, or other stuff.

we think we're so advanced because we have all these modern weapons that kill people quicker. but pain is pain. someone in pain today is in just as much pain as 500 years ago. someone being burned to death today is in just as much pain as someone burned to death 5,000 years ago. someone being beheaded today is in just as much pain as someone being beheaded hundreds of years ago.

i think everyone who supports war should have to see footage of actual combat and have to watch actual people die. not see dead people - actually watch the people die. how is our sense of self-righteousness any better than the people in last of the mohicans?

(pictures, albeit in dutch)

helping others

sometimes when i think about this life and what is my point here, when i think about what i want to accomplish, i realize that it's not all about me. y'know. if i were to write books and do really well with them and become well known, blah blah blah and i didn't help other people in the process, what would it be worth? (this kind of reminds me of 1 corinthians 13). :-p

anyway, i was just reading news stories and searching (that's what i do - read news stories, which triggers a subject that i'll look up, which inevitably triggers another subject that i look up, etc.), and i started reading about john walsh, the guy who hosts "america's most wanted". anyway, someone kidnapped and killed his son, adam, over 20 years ago (beheaded the 6 year old kid), and instead of just being upset about it, he dedicated his energy to helping solve and prevent other crimes.

ok, my attention span is shot, so i'm going to end this post.

good ole' kip

on a lighter note...

ok, i first saw this actor (in a movie, that is) a few weeks ago, and then a week after that, but i kind of forgot about it - i thought he kind of had a baby face. anyway, he was in my dream yesterday. and while it might've just been good stuff, it turned... um... well... good sex. oops, did i say that out loud? yeah, i guess i did. but i mean really good sex. haha. anywhoo... so yeah, now i have this guy who i will never meet in my head b/c i had a good sex dream involving him. hmmm...

kip pardue

robert novak

robert novak is a punk. having this info about valerie plame, letting judith miller take the blame, and then waiting until rove can't get charged, then saying rove was the one who told him. little fucking punk. go figure, he's a pub. but it's lower than that. he's just a bad character person. he outght to be denied any future journalistic opportunities. if he worked for me, i sure as hell would fire him.

9

when i went downstairs this morning, i saw on the front of the paper "missiles kill 9 in israel". it was in large print, bold font, and on the top half of the paper. so you know what that made me think? first of all, it must've been the biggest thing that happened yesterday, and second, it must be a huge deal. hmm. for some reason i think it's neither. oh sure, it's the biggest thing that happened in israel yesterday, but here in america?

don't get me wrong, i'm not anti-semitic. in fact, some of my best friends are jewish. (gosh, that sounds so bloody pathetic; if someone said that to me: 'i'm not racist. some of my best friends are black,' i'd probably give them a funny look and walk away.) that being said, i don't agree with israel's position regarding other nations. i mean, what do you expect? you start blowing things up in lebanon and then you're shocked when they bomb back at you?

actually, i'm in quite a good mood, so this is enough of a negative post for one time. i don't want those titles to rain on my parade.

a God post

i guess what i always find most difficult with God - yes, i am aware that i swear in many posts and here i'm having a post focused on God - is that He's let so much suffering happen to colored people. for instance, i'm watching 'last of the mohicans' and i know that most of the native americans, if not all, are going to die in this movie. but even if they didn't die, i'd know that regardless they eventually did.

i know, some people think, "get the fuck over it. move the hell on." i do. a lot of times i don't think about it because it seems such a waste of energy. other times, though, when it's in my face like that, i find it so hard to reconcile God that i love allowing my people to be destroyed.

man, i sure have a lot more writing about this to do.

last of the mohicans

i'm watching Last of the Mohicans right now because my dad says it's a great movie. i've only ever seen the end and let me tell you - i thought it was depressing as hell. i mean, really fucking depressing. my dad laughs every time i'd mention it because i'd say something like "how can you enjoy that depressing movie?"

i hope i enjoy it, and if i do cry, i do it while i'm alone.


follow up: oh, it was so much worse than I had anticipated. i was probably crying the last ten minutes or fifteen minutes of the movie, but i stayed downstairs because i didn't want my dad to know i was crying. i wasn't in the family room, though; i was in the breakfast room, watching it, so he couldn't see me. i went up to my room and bawled. it was basically a combination of the movie and the feelings it brought up in regard to my next post (the one above; i'm writing this update after i wrote the above post). anyway, wow. just because i saw the whole movie didn't make it any less depressing. and that damn music certainly didn't help matters at all.
is it a good movie? sure. is it too sad and realistic for me to watch? more than likely.

job-searching

ok, yeah i know, cry me a motherfucking river. i am feeling so discouraged with not finding a job. i hate how i keep seeing jobs that i want pass by. i almost feel like saying, "if you don't like my resume, will you let me know why so i can revise it?" um, obviously i'm not going to do that, but i wish i could.

i'm starting to think maybe i'm not supposed to move cross-country. i mean, i want to, but i was talking with God and i said, "if You don't want me to go, please help me to be willing to follow Your will." nothing is really turning up in the city i'm looking at, so i'm starting to look around the area i currently live. the industries i'm looking for aren't as prevelant here, but maybe i'm not even supposed to be doing this industry. who knows?

i know, complaining gets old. and i have to remember that everything will work out in the end. it will.

*sigh*

coors and his dui

pete coors, who runs none other than... coors brewing company, received a dui. for some reason, i'm not really surprised that he would be driving under the influence. i mean, he's involved with beer probably all day long. beer and his marvelous republican party.

coors arrested
coors confirms his arrest

israel bombs

so let me get this straight... israel has been bombing countries for a few days. they'd started with the gaza strip a few days ago, killing a bunch of palestinians (hmm, not like they haven't done that before). now, they're after lebanon, bombing their highways, airports, military bases, etc., in retaliation for something hezbollah did a while ago.

but of course, their good ole buddy the united states supports them. the u.n. wanted to condemn the latest israel attacks, but the u.s. vetoed their idea. big surprise.

well, i shouldn't be surprised. as long as there's this guilt-ridden, incestuous relationship between the u.s. and israel, this stuff will still be condoned.

barbaro

awww, the colt is going through a lot of pain. remember barbaro - the horse who was expected to win the triple derby? he was in the preakness stakes when he had a freak accident and shattered one of his ankles.

anyway, he has laminitis, and apparently it's really bad. the doctor says his chances of surviving are poor. ikes. the part of me that used to work at a veterinary hospital says, "put him to sleep. take him out of his misery." i know that's hard; people don't want to put their animals down. but honestly, it's the nicest, most selfless thing people can do. and having helped with euthenasias - i wouldn't say it's fun by any means, but it's somewhat peaceful because the animals aren't struggling; instead, they seem as though they're going to sleep and finally being able to relax.

barbaro's condition

publicist's name

i've noticed with a lot of celebs, their publicists' names aren't revealed. for some reason, elliot mintz is always identified in regard to his clients. i wonder why. is it a prima donna thing? does he say, "if you want to know the details, journalists, you'd better identify me as having given it to you"?

hmm, i wonder...

materazzi/ zidane *update*

haha, who called it? (well, it wasn't just me; it was a bunch of people.) i knew materazzi must've said something snotty to zidane to get him to head-butt him. here's one blurb:

"Marco Materazzi admits he insulted Zinedine Zidane before the France captain head-butted him in the World Cup final. Materazzi denies calling him a 'terrorist.'

'I did insult him, it's true,' Materazzi said in Tuesday's Gazzetta dello Sport. 'But I categorically did not call him a terrorist. I'm not cultured and I don't even know what an Islamic terrorist is.'"

i'm still not convinced. what does "categorically did not call him a terrorist" mean? that sounds like a technicality thing. and plus, what the hell does that mean - "i don't even know what an islamic terrorist is"? i don't think there's anyone in the world who's been reading the news for the last few years knows what a terrorist is.

zidane spoke a little about it:

"French soccer star Zinedine Zidane offered apologies but no regrets Wednesday for brutally head-butting an Italian opponent in the World Cup final, saying he was spurred by cruel insults to his mother and sister.

Exactly what was said between France's captain and Marco Materazzi remains a mystery, however. Zidane never was specific about what enraged him. So, for the moment, the exchange stays between them.

'I would rather have taken a punch in the jaw than have heard that,' he told the Canal-Plus television network, stressing that Materazzi's language was 'very harsh,' and that he uttered the insults several times."

and now fifa is considering taking away his golden ball award. i went to fifa's website to write a note asking them not to take away his award, but when i went on the contact page, i couldn't find their email addy.

anyway, i'm probably almost over this debacle. hopefully the same can be said about the rest of the media; it's time to move on to something else.

speaking of kathy griffith

she rocks. her show always makes me laugh. i would try and repeat all the jokes but that's lame and time consuming. but anyway, if you watch bravo, check it out!

my mom somewhat appreciates it (but it kinda spoils the moment when i have to explain things like cameltoe - see previous post). i don't think my dad likes it that much b/c she's always talking about her gays. i have turned off the tv more times b/c some gay thing was on and my dad started frowning like a prune.

anyway...

kathy griffith's official page
the ever popular imdb site

cameltoe

i'm watching "the kathy griffin show: my life on the d-list" (i love this show!) and these dudes told her to fix her camel's toe. my mom was in the room and was like, "huh?"

i gotta love my mom and her lack of knowing terms. i had to break the term "going down on someone" to her. she was shocked - understandably. i really wonder what the hell she knows about sex. apparently something, since i'm here. but anyway...

so i tried to explain cameltoe to her without not saying the word 'vagina'. at least now she knows.

you're sponsored by who?

i was watching the world cup yesterday, and they made mention of a golf tournament. the cialis golf tournament. that's cialis as in erectile-dysfunction-cialis. as in call-us-if-you-have-an-erection-for-more-than-4-hours cialis.

excuse me while i'm slightly dramatic, but what the fuck!?! the motherfucking fcc has the nerve to get pissed off about a desperate housewives/nfl commercial, freaked out when viewers saw a nipple on the superbowl, even get worked up about an oral sex discussion on oprah. yet, they're perfectly fine having commercials about men talking about their sex life and erectile dysfunction! the goobs are talking about their fucking penises! on prime time, children-can-see tv. and the radio. i can't tell you how disturbed i am when i'm watching or listening to the news and they have a commercial about men's sexual dysfunction.

and if that's bad enough, then i have to hear about motherfucking bob. excuse me, if you want to grow your dick, grow away. don't tell me about it on tv. and stop whistling that damn tune!
(aside 1: has anyone noticed that is now targeting nascar fans? is it because those types of people often don't, um, measure up?)
(aside 2: what really is the big deal about size anyway? i mean, honestly. i'm not a dude, so i can't relate, but basing my opinion of myself based on some physical thing who's size i have no control of... i don't get it)

*cough* but back to the point... the fcc lets those sex commercials be on tv everywhere, but is ready to fine anyone else for even uttering the word *whispering, looking around* s-e-x. and now these pissy companies are sponsoring sports tournaments.

what's next? should they just stop the innuendos and hand out penis pumps as prizes at sporting events? should the enzyte commercials focus on bob's growing crotch rather than his insipid smile? should we scream 'penis!' every time a golfer gets a birdie or hole-in-one or whatever the hell they do when they play golf?

now i'm going to go take a cold shower.

ze devil zidane

... or so zinedine being portrayed. okay, he was a punk to headbutt marco materazzi
but it seems like everyone's making such a big deal about it. granted, it did
propel the guy on the ground (which made my eyes open wide), but it's a damn head-butt. people get head-butted all the time; soccer players sure as hell get head-butted all the time. it was actually kind of funny.

first of all, i think the craziest thing about it was that zidane was so obvious about it. i mean, if he was that peeved with materazzi, couldn't he have used his infinite soccer skills to hurt the guy in a more discreet way? say, toss the ball up with his feet and "accidentally" knee the guy in the groin. hmm, scratch that - materazzi was probably wearing a cup.

secondly, i have no clue what their disagreement was about. perhaps materazzi said something waaay out of line. possibly he talked about one of zidane's dead relatives or something.

i guess that was the nice thing about playing water polo - since half of our bodies were under water, we could do whatever we wanted underneath because the refs couldn't see it.
but then again, that's coming from someone who's obvious herself. i used to always get penalties for being too rough (or at least, being too obvious about it). but on another h2o polo point, it's rumoured that we chicks are more brutal than the guys. ahh, what fun times...

anyway, there's the whole world cup nostalgia still in the air; i don't think the zidane incident should be made such a big deal; why focus on the controversy when the victory's what it's about?

and why the hell did someone name him zidane if his last name is zinedine? let's go for some variety.

which state is it?

ok, i was looking at this thing 'obesity in america', and i was comparing the obesity rate of my present state with the state to which i plan to move. only i wasn't looking at the state i'm moving to. i was comparing it to another state - accidentally. um, what kind of sign is that? i mean, i was really convinced state was state. this coming from someone who can probably name 40+ (out of 50) states' capitals. maybe i need to do some more research....

anyway, the obesity rate thing:

anna wintour - interesting

note: i've never met the woman. but i'd heard that in the movie the devil wears prada is a play on , so of course i wanted to learn more about ms. wintour. go figure, i think she sounds interesting. yeah, there were some incidents that made her sound like a bitch. but quite frankly, everyone's a bitch sometimes. still and all, she didn't go to college and she's now the head of conde' nast - that alone gets her major, major props from me.

p.s. i'm getting a little more savvy on here, so from now on, when i have pictures, they will probably take you to an actual link, rather than just some meaningless page. so click away!

one resume sent

i finally got over this hump i've been in and sent off one resume. granted it's pretty damn late, but i wanted to get it out before monday work day. i've felt kind of discouraged regarding sending out resumes, even though people say 'hang in there'. *phbth* but anyway, doing this one feels really good. of course, i needed help from my mom; she's great at resumes. i should've sucked up my pride before and asked her. eh, shoulda-coulda-woulda-didn't.

now i'm getting my butt to sleep!

intervention

i forget how good of a show this is. i normally don't watch it that much because they actually show people practicing their addictions. i saw it one time and was so tripped out that i had to talk to a whole bunch of friends before i chilled out. anyway, i just finished watching an episode and it's the closest i've gotten to crying as of recent (as of recent meaning since last month; i have a propensity to cry right before... that time. since that time started today, i thought i was home free. but the show kinda touched a nerve.

anyway, i recommend it if you're in the mood for something kinda dark and serious, but inspirational.

locate hate

ok, i'm a pretty good typer, but i'm not very good with numbers, so i was looking online for some site with a bunch of numbers so i could practice typing them. anyway, i didn't find a site (although i did find free typing practice site. anyway, i was googling 'number' and 'symbol' and ran into this site:

hate on display

hate on display. it's definitely interesting. i actually almost didn't look at it because i didn't want my paranoia to kick in. i think it was pretty in check, though. *wink* i just had to remember, when looking at the different symbols, to keep things in perspective. like, when i saw the 'ss' symbol - reminded me of the double 's' in kiss's name.

anyway, i probably won't look at it again; too much negative energy in one space.

html help

if anyone who reads this blog (that is, if anyone reads it) knows html, please let me know so i can pick your brain! i want to make this blog a little more interesting. thanks ahead of time!

aww shucks

well, i'm glad i wasn't too damn bested in the game. otherwise, i would've been really peeved that france lost. as it is, oh well, that's life. italy won - congrats to them. (see, i'm a good sport)

fuck the italians. no, i'm joking!

honestly, i think in general, the wag are cuter than most of the players! granted, posh does nothing for me - someone aptly described her as e.t. and quite frankly, she does look like it. but in general, i've enjoyed looking at the females more. and this is coming from a straight chick. actually, i probably just envied their clothes! but then again, i envy all clothes when i don't have money to spend any on mine.

in honor of the italians, i'm gonna color this post red, white, and green (or, rather, red, black and green b/c you wouldn't be able to see white.)

goooooal!

ok, i'm cheering for france. yeah, that's pretty predictable if you know anything about my sporting choices. i was cheering for ghana, but that would now be ridiculous, as they are no longer in. if i had no reason to cheer for either team in the final, i'd cheer for france because i have some french ancestry. but anyway, let me tune into the penalty kick.

currently: france 1 ... italy 1

penny lane

i do not have a clear opinion on this yet. i do find it interesting (hence, why i'm posting it).

Liverpool's Penny Lane to keep its name
By KATIE FRETLAND
Associated Press Writer

LONDON (AP) -- Penny Lane will keep its name. Liverpool officials said Saturday they would modify a proposal to rename streets linked to the slave trade when they realized the road made famous by the 1967 Beatles song was one of them.

The unassuming suburban avenue was named for James Penny, a wealthy 18th-century slave ship owner. Liverpool, the Beatles' northern English hometown, was once a major hub for the slave trade.

"I don't think anyone would seriously consider renaming Penny Lane," said city council member Barbara Mace, who has been pressing to get rid of names linked to slavery. "My proposal is to rename several of the streets and to replace them with the names of people who have done something positive."

Eric Lynch, 74, who gives tours focused on the history of Liverpool's involvement in the slave trade, said renaming any streets or squares would be a "disgraceful attempt to change history."

"It's like somebody in Germany deciding to bulldoze Auschwitz," Lynch said. "Like somebody deciding not to celebrate D-Day. If we don't know the past, how can we make sure we don't make the same mistakes? Are the monuments to the Irish famines going to go next?"

"You cannot and should not change history, however disagreeable it is," he said.

The 90-member council plans to talk Wednesday about a plan to rename several central Liverpool streets named for notorious slave traders.

Some want instead to honor Anthony Walker, a black teenager murdered with an ax in a July 2005 racial attack. Others suggest renaming streets for leading abolitionists.

"It's not trying to rewrite history," Mace said. "You can't. Liverpool's whole history is based on the slave trade. That's on the history books."

Liverpool was an important port of call for slave ships traveling between Africa and the Americas. During the second half of the 18th century, much of the city's economy was based on the trade.

ex-haust-ed!

wow, i am one tired person. i have been screwing with my sleep, so my schedule is all messed up. i didn't get to sleep until 6 this morning, and then got up at 9. but to make it better, i worked out for way too long today. i stretched like crazy afterward, so hopefully i won't be sore. but honestly, that was probably the longest workout i've ever had. and that's not a good thing. oh well, been there, done that.

let's see... i ran into a friend today who i hadn't seen for a long time. it was so good to see her and it's funny b/c she said i've been in her thoughts a lot, as she's been in mine. um, what else?

i haven't done any resumes today, which is unfortunate indeed, but i plan to do it tomorrow. i did some writing today, and some interesting things came out of it.

i finished the devil wears prada. i hate to say it, but it was not good. i thought i'd enjoy it, but it was more of an asspain book. the type of book i try to get through just so i can finish it and not have to read it any more.

i had a talk with some friends earlier today and we were talking about humility. anyway, i was seeing how i can get this snotty attitude with my mom, like 'i want to take care of myself, and she's just not at my level.' i'm going to need to apologize for that.

also, i've been sooo judgmental recently, it seems. i just need to keep reminding myself, when i'm critiquing someone, my nose has boogers too (or i could say my shit stinks, but i prefer the former). i have no place to walk around judging other people. am i still going to be opinionated? yeah. that's just how i am. but any lofty attitude. nah.

die hard

quite possibly the most quote-able movie.

let me rephrase: there are classic lines in die hard. not one. not two. no, the lines keep coming every couple of minutes.

now, i am biased to good ole the ten commandments, anne of green gables, wizard of oz and such. but when i come across john mcclane's mouth in this movie, aww... sweet music to my ears.

noose necklace

i have a weird sense of humour. imagine if i were to buy this. i mean, i could always say that i was celebrating 'pirates of the caribbean'. but others might wonder why i had a noose around my neck, considering its other not so positive connotations. :-p

• disney couture noose necklace
  

bull!

well, that's what happens when you pull cows' ears!

American injured during mock bullfight

By PAUL HAVEN

PAMPLONA, Spain (AP) -- An American man was partially paralyzed after a mock bullfight following the first running of the bulls Friday in Pamplona, and seven other people were hospitalized after being gored or trampled by the massive beasts.

Danger is what draws throngs of revelers to Spain's most famous festival each year, and danger is what they got in the narrow streets of this ancient Spanish city.

Ray Ducharme, a 31-year-old bond trader for Bank of America in Charlotte, N.C., was injured in what is known as a vaquilla, in which hundreds of people chase five cows around the bull ring, pulling their ears and tail. The cows are smaller than fighting bulls and have less imposing horns, but they still weigh hundreds of pounds and can be threatening.

Ducharme, a Bath, N.Y.-native, was thrown by a young cow in the event and underwent a 90-minute operation at the Hospital de Navarra to reattach two vertebrae.

"He is paralyzed in the legs, and will have partial use of his arms," said Pello Pellejero, a Pamplona government spokesman. "He is in very serious condition."

Ducharme's father, Ray, described him as an avid soccer player and said his family hoped his high level of physical fitness would help his recovery.

Seven injuries were reported during the run itself, at least two of them serious: New Zealander David MacDowell, 25, was gored in the thigh, and a Pamplona native, Ramon Garayoa, 46, fell and was trampled.

The bull run began at 8 a.m. when six bulls, each weighing about 1,500 pounds, stormed out of a corral where they spent the night, then zoomed up packed Cuesta Santo Domingo street at the start of the 900-yard run. They were accompanied by six castrated steers who know the route and are meant to keep the bulls in a single pack.

Thousands of runners, most wearing traditional white shirts and pants and sporting red handkerchiefs, dashed in front of them. Each pack ran with the bulls for a short distance before darting out of harm's way.

The rampage ends in minutes. The bulls rush into the Plaza de Toros, where some of Spain's better-known bullfighters awaited them in the afternoon. The festival lasts nine days.

Before Ducharme's injuries became known, runners said their brush with death was everything they had hoped for.

"It was total emotion. It was absolutely crazy. The bull was right next to me and I touched him," said Norman Rilling, 25, from Bakersfield, Calif.

Bulls are surprisingly fast animals, and many of the runners had been up all night drinking. Police are instructed not to let anybody who looks too inebriated take part in an effort to cut down on injuries.

That is easier said than done, and many participants had clearly had long nights.

Julio Bernavides Alvaran, 65, who came to the festival from Valencia in southeastern Spain, said he wandered the streets for hours looking for a place to sleep before deciding to use his credit card to get into an empty bank machine cubicle.

Still, he only had a couple of hours of rest before the run, which he described as the thrill of a lifetime.

"Life disappears, and you feel your blood moving in your veins," he said. "Either that, or it's all the whiskey."

The San Fermin festival dates back to the late 16th century, but it was Ernest Hemingway's 1926 novel "The Sun Also Rises" that made it famous. A bronze bust of the writer stands outside the bullring where the runs end.

Since record-keeping began in 1924, 13 people have been killed during the runs. The last death was in 1995.

yahoo answers, bono & africa

there's this thing on yahoo called "yahoo answers". bono asked a question: "what can we do to make poverty history?" some person, deez3po2003, answered:

Maybe rich white uncle toms ought to look at the poverty crisis in THEIR OWN COUNTRY first before trying to solve unsolveable problems in other countries!
***REASONS FOR EXTREME POVERTY IN AFRICA***
1. Overpopulation.
2. Citizens unable to feed the number of children they give birth to.
3. Corrupt governments.
4. People donating food to starving people who give birth to 10 more starving people etc.....
5. Genocide and wars which creates food shortages.
SOLUTION:
There isn't one, just a hopeless cycle of international LOANS, and then international DEBT RELIEF. But waste your time helping other people who hate you, doesn't bother me, you aren't getting a red cent.

The first popped out at me immediately. Overpopulation? Africa has just over 900 million people (915,210,928; 14.1%). Yes, that is more than the U.S.'s 300 million (or so we will be at the end of this year). But think about it: Africa is the second largest continent. Asia, which is the largest, has over 3 1/2 billion (3,667,774,066; 56.4%). Europe, which is the second smallest (or fifth largest) in regard to space, has almost as many people as Africa (807,289,020; 12.4%). So if anyone wants to deal with overpopulation, let's look at Asia and Europe first.

Another thing that caught my attention - corrupt governments. Unfortunately, that can be said about almost all governments in this world. I think a condition for even being a government is that there is a certain amount of corruptness.

anyway, by the time the writer gets to his last sentence, he's being so ridiculous, it's not even worth addressing.


the next post, manofadvntr, is less of an asshole but still off in lalaland. at least he's not bitching about "white uncle toms" (whatever the fuck that was), but he's marveling about his wife's native country of vietnam. woo hoo. he does the characteristic "them" whilst referring to africans (you know how it can be, distancing yourself from people by grouping them as "them". I don't think he means to be patronizing, but he is. But he has some retarded assumptions, such as, " I think the first steps should be toward education, tolerance and respect for others," (because of course we Americans have such great elementary school education. Oh yeah, and such tolerance and respect for others. That's evidenced by our bulldozing into Iraq.) He further says, "Once they realize the violence actually hurts all of the peoples, hopefully they will then start taking the steps toward a brighter future." Um, ok. And then he says, "Hopefully we can show by example and sell them on the rewards of Peace." What? What rewards of "Peace"? Peace by War, which we seem to be touting? No thanks, I'll pass.

I do agree with what he said here: " I look forward to the day that the many peoples of Africa will start working together to stabilize and better their future." Hell, him and me both.

So, seeing as I'm being such a smartass, I guess I should share my views. What the fuck would I do to make poverty history? (Since we're dealing with Africa, I'll just stick with that.)

The idealist in me would love for countries, the UN, the World Bank, etc. to invest in Africa. The libertarian in me knows that the more governments are involved in companies , the worst it gets. Therefore, I support private contributions. People should invest themselves. I'm not just putting my money where my mouth is. I've been sponsoring a girl in Kenya for about six years. Yeah, I know, I'm such a bloody saint. Actually, I'm not; I'm just trying to do what I can to help. My plan is as I get more money (as I make more money), I will invest more into the continent to help it out.

Another thing I agree with is family planning. No, I don't agree with abortion, as I've stated before, but I do wholeheartedly support birth control. I am so supportive of condom distribution and birth contol education.

I could go on and on about this topic, but I'm not in the space to think too much more about it. Remind me to continue it later.

• The Living Africa
• Population Action International
• Africa Population Dynamics
• Internet World Stats
• World Population: Major Trends
• Continents
• Continent

lance armstrong - bah!

i used to think lance armstrong was sort of cool. ok, well, the truth is i didn't think too much about his coolness at all, but i thought he was cute. but after he left his wife - i lost my respect for him. i mean, he went through cancer 3 times or something, right? she was with him through all of it. and then he just divorces her.

i remember last year at the tour de france when he'd won one of the days. while he was getting his yellow shirt, he kissed sheryl crow. all right, i get it, now you're big man who keeps winning your bike races and you're dating a rock chick. but dude, you have kids. did you think for half a minute that maybe they'd see the picture of you kissing her in public? maybe they'd be hurt because you were kissing her and not their mom? maybe their mom would see it and cry and they'd see her cry and feel bad.

ok, we're in a society where divorce is just a convenience. but still...

still looking for job

yes, i'm still looking for a job.

and it's depressing.

go india.arie

her new album debuted #1 on the billboard list this week!

i feel like i contributed - ever so slightly - because i bought one of her songs "i am not my hair" off of itunes a couple days ago. that's big for me because i almost always download off of the free sites. but when i was listening to the song a couple days ago, i couldn't get myself to just scam her off of it; not when i liked her so much. so i spent the damn 99 cents - not that much to spend, i must say.

anyway, yay for india.arie!

good for ashley, but...

good for her for coming out about her depression. i'm not surprised; mental disorders do come in so many different shapes and sizes, and the family does seem to have a lot of stuff with which they're dealing.

but... i've always thought she has another problem too. i'm not going to call her out because it's not my business, and plus i wouldn't want to get sued for libel. but let me put it this way if she doesn't have the problem i think she has, i would really be surprised. pleasantly surprised/shocked, but surprised nonetheless.


Ashley Judd Recalls Treatment

Ashley Judd says she spent 47 days in a Texas treatment facility for depression and other emotional problems, in an interview in Glamour magazine.

"I needed help," the 38-year-old actress tells the magazine in its August issue. "I was in so much pain."

Judd, the daughter of country music star Naomi Judd, says she entered the Shades of Hope Treatment Center in Buffalo Gap in February for "codependence in my relationships; depression, blaming, raging, numbing, denying and minimizing my feelings."

"But because my addictions were behavioral, not chemical, I wouldn't have known to seek treatment. At Shades of Hope, my behaviors were treated like addictions. And those behaviors were killing me spiritually, the same as someone who is sitting on a corner with a bottle in a brown paper bag."

Judd says she was visiting her sister, singer Wynonna Judd, who was being treated for food addictions.

"When (the counselors) approached me about treatment, they said, `No one ever does an intervention on people like you. You look too good; you're too smart and together. But you (and Wynonna) come from the same family - so you come from the same wound.' No one had ever validated my pain before. It was so profound," she says.

Judd says her childhood was a time of "complete and total chaos." She attended 13 schools in 12 years and lived alternately with her mother, grandmother and father.

As a result, Judd says, she became "a hypervigilant child," striving to be perfect.

"A wonderful pastor once told me, `Perfectionism is the highest order of self-abuse,'" she tells the magazine. "So now I try to remind myself that if I engage in perfectionism, I am abusing myself. Period."

Judd says her relationships, including her marriage to race-car driver Dario Franchitti, have improved.

"It's so simple really: I was unhappy and now I'm happy," she says. "Now, even when I'm having a rough day, it's better than my best day before treatment."

Judd starred in 2002's "Frida" and 2004's "De-Lovely." Her upcoming films include "Bug," directed by William Friedkin and co-starring Harry Connick Jr.

that's my bear!

how bloody cute is this!


Tahoe Bear Swills Beer With Pizza Snack

A bear cub sniffed out a barbecue-chicken-and-jalapeño pizza in the back seat of a vintage red Buick convertible at an upper Kingsbury Grade parking lot on Sunday, jolting onlookers and leaving a cheesy mess behind.

About 30 people watched the cub lumber around the Tahoe Village parking lot before it homed in on the Buick and the pizza. Frightened swimmers stayed inside the nearby pool area as the bear - ignoring the car's horn which blew non-stop as the cub pressed the seat into the steering wheel - crawled inside to ferret out the pizza that was on the floor.

"The bear was loping along in the parking lot and then decides to get inside the car," said resident Jerry Patterson, who took photographs of the bear. "People were screaming at him, the horn was going off, but he was completely unaware. ... He did what he wanted to do and the people didn't matter."

The bear remained inside the 1964 Buick Skylark for a good 20 minutes and at times put his paws on the dash as if he were holding on for a ride, Patterson said. Motorists and onlookers outside the pool area snapped pictures and moved in for a better look.

"I knew better than to get too close and so I kept my distance. I respect the bears as wild animals," he said.

The owner of the car, David Ziello of South Lake Tahoe, took the excitement in stride. Once the bear left for a nearby Dumpster, Ziello and his son, David Jr., inspected the car for damage. Fortunately there wasn't any - sans some cheese and jalapenos on the seats and floor.

But the bear wasn't through yet. He returned to the car from the Dumpster and tried to crawl back in as Ziello was inside.

"At that point I was thinking of the $5,000 paint job I had done on it last summer and the new interior I was going to be getting sooner than I thought," he said. "I was like, 'OK. The party's over. Move on.'"

The cub stayed in the parking lot for a few more minutes, licked himself and moved on. Ziello quipped to onlookers how the Fox and Hound - the bar and grill on Kingsbury Grade that made him the large pie - has the best jalapeno pizza in Tahoe.

"They make a great pizza. Even the bears love it," he said.

Fox and Hound Manager Kevin Brent said he was the one who made the pizza for the Buick owner and his family earlier that afternoon. He said the pie was actually a barbecue-chicken pizza loaded with jalapenos.

Having worked at the upper Kingsbury bar and grill for years, Brent said he's seen his share of bears, including the one that crawled into the Buick. In fact, the same one is believed to have gotten into a breadbox at the restaurant earlier that day.

"I guess the bears find our food pretty tasty and will do anything to get to it," Brent said.

Besides the pizza, the cub managed to finish a half cup of a Jack Daniels mixer and half of an Absolute vodka and tonic. There was also a beer missing.

"I swear he ran off with the can from the cooler," Ziello said. "The bear's an alcoholic."

Between a dozen and two dozen bears live between upper and lower Kingsbury, according to Nevada Division of Wildlife's Carl Lackey, who tracks and relocates bears on the Nevada side of the Tahoe basin. The juvenile bear is one of many whose mothers have dispersed them into the wild this season.

While there's not an overall increase in the number of bears in the Kingsbury area, the residential area sees more of them because they've found a primary food source from Dumpsters and people who leave their food and trash in the open.

Lackey warned visitors against keeping food inside their cars as bears will find anyway they can to get to it.

"When you are in bear habitat, regardless of the time of year, you cannot leave any kind of food out - whether it's food inside the car, trash inside or outside your car, or pet food. Bears will find it and in doing so, it is increasing your chances of serious conflict."

sometimes it's so hard

sometimes it's so hard not to go back to e.d. behaviors. i mean, i really have to sit with myself to keep myself from doing harmful things (throwing up, buying laxatives). ugh. and then i have to tell myself it's for the best that i'm not acting out. not only is it for the best, but even if i don't believe it, fuck it, b/c i know it's the truth and i need to take care of myself.

ugh.

where are the drugs?

no, i'm not saying they need to focus on drugs when talking about celebrities. i'm just saying, i know that bijou phillips, for one, had a drug problem at one point b/c she was in rehab for a long time. of course, when i look on her wikipedia page, it doesn't show anything about it. if that's part of her story, tell it. it's cool that she was able to rise above it.

lay - what are the odds??

i mean, was that weird to anyone besides me? how odd that kenneth lay died. history of heart problems or no history of heart problems. i say someone should look into that because it smells a little fishy to me. a little too convenient. i must say, when i found out yesterday or the day before or whatever, i was shocked. didn't see that one coming. that's too bad. i always kind of liked him (but then again, i was very biased - he used to be on the board of trustees at my school, so i felt an affinity to him or soemthing).

oh well... life goes on (... for those of us still alive, i mean).

yeah, ouch.

kenneth lay dies of heart disease at 64