a God post

i guess what i always find most difficult with God - yes, i am aware that i swear in many posts and here i'm having a post focused on God - is that He's let so much suffering happen to colored people. for instance, i'm watching 'last of the mohicans' and i know that most of the native americans, if not all, are going to die in this movie. but even if they didn't die, i'd know that regardless they eventually did.

i know, some people think, "get the fuck over it. move the hell on." i do. a lot of times i don't think about it because it seems such a waste of energy. other times, though, when it's in my face like that, i find it so hard to reconcile God that i love allowing my people to be destroyed.

man, i sure have a lot more writing about this to do.