Flaring Neck pt. 2

... continued...

I was stressed because I found myself (I love how I phrase that - "found myself" - as though somehow I had a passive part in it) having a crush on this guy at work. Married guy. At work. Please tell me in how many ways that is wrong!

I think I'm feeling a little calmer regarding that because I've come to the point where:
a) I'm not going to do anything with him. We get along fairly well, and if anything were to happen, besides the inappropriateness of it and the fear of others from work finding out, at some time (whether immediately or, more than likely, somewhere down the line), I'd have intense remorse. Really deep remorse. Do I screw up? All the bloody time. But I try to keep myself from doing things that I regret (not frivolous, unimportant regrets, like eating too much, but weighing-on-my-heart regrets). I definitely try to avoid situations of remorse. So that being said, I've been able to say to myself that nothing will happen between us because I seriously doubt he would pursue anything and I'm not going to.
b) I've decided I need to start dating. I've been really hesitant (because sometimes I don't pick the best people), but I'd much rather date some random dude than spend time even thinking about hooking up with someone from work.

Here's hoping my neck isn't sore this week. If I remember, I'll try to report about it.

George Michael and speaking the truth

I pass by this article: "Michael says trying to smoke less marijuana"and immediately, before reading it, I have an idea what it's about. (I'd rather not paste the whole story, but you know how it is - stories only remain on a page for so many days).

LONDON (Reuters) - British singer George Michael is trying to reduce his consumption of marijuana, the pop star told the BBC on Sunday. "I'm constantly trying to smoke less marijuana. I'd like to take less and to a degree it's a problem," Michael told BBC Radio 4's Desert Island Discs program.

"Is it a problem in my life? Is it getting in the way of my life? I really don't think," added Michael. "I'm a happy man and I can afford my marijuana so that's not a problem."

Previously Michael, who has sold more than 85 million records with hits such as "Careless Whisper," has admitted to a dependency on prescription drugs and has called marijuana much less harmful than alcohol.

Britain relaxed its laws against cannabis in 2004 but warned the country's estimated 3.5 million users the drug remained illegal and possession of even a small amount could still lead to arrest.

Michael infuriated mental health charities last year by smoking a cannabis joint during a television interview and saying, "This stuff keeps me sane and happy."

In June the 44-year-old Michael was banned from driving for two years and sentenced to 100 hours of community service after admitting driving when unfit due to drugs.

Police had found Michael slumped behind the wheel of his Mercedes at a road junction in London in October and the prosecution said he had a cocktail of both legal and illegal drugs in his system.

Michael revealed in Sunday's interview he has completed 50 hours of his sentence, helping people with mental health problems as well as drug addiction.

"I've also scrubbed down some very dirty rooms", added Michael, "and make chicken fajitas for some homeless people. I was quite good apparently."

Michael ended years of speculation about his sexuality by announcing he was gay after he was arrested in 1998 for engaging in a "lewd act" in a Los Angeles public toilet.

"In a strange way I've spent the last 15 to 20 years trying to derail my own career, but it never seems to suffer," said Michael, who completed a 25th anniversary tour earlier this year.

"I suffer like crazy. I've suffered bereavements and public humiliations, but my career always seems to right itself like a plastic duck in the bath. In some ways I resent that."

Now I suppose some people - moralists, I call them, would be upset about this. Dirty man, such a mess, blah blah blah. I've never followed George Michael's career, but in the past few years, I've heard about his problems with the law. The thing is: he admits it, he tells the truth, there you go. To me, it's not even an issue about whether he's trying to work on not doing drugs; then again, the Libertarian in me believes drugs should be legal.

The thing that I love is, in this space where "celebrities" always lie about themselves and what they're doing (scratch that - celebrities have been lying about this as long as there've been celebrities), it's so refreshing to see and read about someone who just tells the truth about what's going on in his life.

Once again, what goes on in "celebrities'" lives isn't wouldn't be any of my or other people's business. As it is, these people purposely thrust themselves into the limelight. Once they're there, though, and they fuck up (as all humans do), they start lying about it. I really don't have a lot of sympathy for them. They put themselves out there - willingly - and then get angry with the media when their shit hits the press. If you don't want your business out there, I think, then get the fuck out of showbiz.

And then there are people who just tell what's going on then. Their weaknesses. Their struggles. Their - gasp - humanness. I'm not talking about the people who live their lives ducking cameras and lying through their teeth and then years or decades later, when they decide they want to make a few million, they come out with a biography. I'm not talking about the "yeah, this happened at one time, but I'm not there." I'm talking about the people who show themselves for who and what they are when they are that, when they're in mire, when life kind of sucks, at times like that.

Nothing more to say, but major props to George Michael for his honesty.

Flaring Neck pt. 1

yeah, this is probably not the most exciting, but it's pertinent to me right now.

My neck is flaring. The left side. I really want to put Bengay* on it (*who the fuck named that product), but it's too strong-smelling (I'm still at work). My back hurts too. I've been trying to contort my body into all kinds of positions (you should've seen me twisting whilst on the balance ball; that was nuts), cracked various... whatever it is one cracks, but still it's irritated.

The funny thing is, if I'm not mistaken, my neck and back - particularly at the same time - haven't been really sore in a week or week and a half. I thought it was because I was trying to mix time on the balance ball with time on my new chair (which I got to rectify the back/neck/shoulder pain).

More than likely, though, it's a stress thing. Woo, crazy thought. Bu here it is (see: I told you it's not that interesting):
I was feeling pretty stressed at my job because I felt I wasn't catching up as quickly as I should and had a lot of backlog to do. Still really enjoyed my job, but enjoying doesn't necessarily take away the stress.
So what am I stressed about now? *Cough* to be continued...

frivolous subject that I didn't read but have an opinion about

I think that's better than calling it "Britney's Bodyguard" because, quite frankly, I don't want to see her name, over and over again, in the previous posts section.

Also, I haven't read any articles regarding the situation w/ bodyguard. There are certain topics/people I don't want to see again and again, so I don't click on those stories, hoping that if enough people also don't click on the stories, the sites will look at the (lack of) traffic and decide not to post articles about said topics and people anymore.
Take, for instance, that one dyed-blond girl who recently spent 23 days in jail (ugh, tired of that person) - other people say they're tired of her too, but at the same time they click on articles about her. Maybe they don't realize each click is recorded, so even when people don't like something, their clicks onto the site seem to suggest otherwise.

What a boring topic. Let's get back to the fluffy topic above.

I start seeing all these articles: "Britney's bodyguard tells of near overdose, drug usage", "Bodyguard says he saw white powder on Britney's nose", "Bodyguard speaks of Spears' drug habits".

Okay.

There's one thing we can surmise: bodyguard is money-hungry, fame-hungry, and (from the size of him) food-hungry. He's not telling these stories to help her; he's telling them to get in the limelight.

Two - "near overdose" - I have seen several headlines mention this. So how do they know it's a near overdose? Can't someone have an overdose w/out dying? In other words, someone can have an overdose and still live? So if she didn't have an overdose, how does someone know it was near overdose? Could it possibly have been 'drug binge'? Media sensationalism is irritating, but when they lie for the sake of sensationalism, it totally crosses ethics. Granted, ethics and Britney might seem odd to mention in the same sentence. I'm just wondering how all these other people determined it was a "near overdose".

Third - "white powder on her nose" - Assumedly, that meant drugs. Either that or leftovers from the powdered donuts. Methinks the former, though.

Now, I could be completely fooled. You might thing, "well, if you'd read the article, you would know that..." I'm taking a gamble though. I'd rather not read this article and be wrong than click on it and give more fuel for sites to publish subsequent Britney stories.

lame post

Yes, I admit it before I even start - this is a lame post. Why? Because I said that I would say something positive in my next post and I figured I'd better get this out of the way as I always want to talk about more serious things.

Ok, yesterday and the day before yesterday, I spent some time outside. Now this wouldn't be a big deal except for the fact that I don't like to spend time outside. I'm absolutely a homebody. It's easy for me to stay inside for days at a time. But when I went outside on Saturday, what the hell did I find? Doggonnit - the fresh air was nice! I felt sort of revitalized! It was like a plant opening up after getting some much needed water. I actually walked around for awhile, sat somewhere and wrote in my journal (talk about an exercise in mental gymnastics), watched the cars go by...

Speaking of cars going by...

I notice that I watch cars like I watch chicks. For instance, I might look at a woman/girl/female/whatever and think, "look at her legs," "look at her butt," "look at her chest," and so on. I'll look at cars labels the same way. The label that a car sports on its back is equivalent to legs or a butt. A car can either get more points for looking nice and fairly new or lose points for looking dirty and slightly beat up *cough*likemine*cough*. But it's that same comparing thing. Where does that car (that person) line up next to mine (next to me)? Compare always always always equals despair.

Okay, maybe not always always always, but almost almost always.

Wow, this post is getting lamer by the minute... :-p

What's the Appropriate Torture?

So I go onto Fox News' web site yesterday and see the feature that every news site has - O.J. Simpson. By chance, I also see another article:

U.S. Prosecutor Accused of Seeking Sex With Girl, 5.

As we all know, these stories stay up for about a week, so I'll post it below:

DETROIT —

A U.S. prosecutor was arrested in an Internet sting operation after flying from Florida to Michigan allegedly to have sex with a 5-year-old girl, officials said.

John David Roy Atchison, 53, appeared Monday in U.S. District Court in Detroit on a charge of interstate travel to have sex with a minor. He is an assistant U.S. attorney in northern Florida.

The arrest followed several weeks of Internet conversations between the prosecutor and a detective posing as the mother of a 5-year-old girl, authorities say.

The prosecutor is charged with using interstate communication to entice a minor to have sexual contact and with traveling across state lines with the intent of engaging in illicit sexual contact. The charges carry a possible sentence of up to 30 years in prison.

Atchison, of Gulf Breeze, Fla., was arrested Sunday at Detroit Metropolitan Airport as part of an undercover sting operation by the Macomb Area Computer Enforcement Team.

"There wasn't much reaction from him at all," said Macomb County Sheriff Mark Hackel, whose department runs the team. He said Atchison was cooperative with authorities.

Atchison brought a Dora the Explorer doll, hoop earrings and petroleum jelly with him from Florida, the Detroit Free Press reported.

Click here to read the Detroit Free Press report.

According to court records, Atchison initiated an online chat Aug. 29 with an undercover officer posing as a mother interested in letting men have sex with her daughter.

In several conversations, he said he wanted to have oral, vaginal and anal sex with the woman's fictitious daughter, Hackel said.

"I'm always gentle and loving; not to worry; no damage ever; no rough stuff ever ever," Atchison said at one point, according to an affidavit filed in court.

"I've done it plenty," he said.

Hackel said his department brought in federal authorities after it became clear that the case involved an out-of-state suspect.

The arrest has come as a shock in Florida, where Atchison is president of a community sports organization, the Gulf Breeze Sports Association, where girls as young as 4 can participate in the soccer program.

Teresa Hawthorne, the organization's youth sports coordinator, told FOXNews.com no one from the association would comment on the case.

Atchison was a soccer and baseball coach, Lt. Rick Hawthorne of the Gulf Breeze police told the Detroit News.

Click here to read the Detroit News report.

"I'm shocked," Edwin "Buz" Eddy, the city manager of Gulf Breeze told the Pensacola News Journal. "That's about all I can say. I hope this is something that can be cleared up by some explanation. What that might be, I don't know."

Eddy told the paper that he had known Atchison for more than a decade and considered him a "pillar of the community."

Click here to read the Pensacola News Journal report.

Atchison's wife is a science teacher at Gulf Breeze High School.

The couple have three children high school age or older, according to the Detroit News.

The fact that an Internet child sex suspect is a law enforcement official shouldn't be unexpected, Hackel said.

"The people who are doing it come from all walks of life," the sheriff said. "It doesn't surprise us anymore."

Atchison asked for a court-appointed lawyer. A detention hearing was scheduled for Tuesday.

I didn't know what to do. The part that sickened me was when it mentioned that he brought her a doll, some earrings and petroleum jelly! And then the bastard says, "No damage ever." Are you shitting me? There is permanent damage with anyone who was touched by this fucknut. And the parents who would put their children out to this?

People are talking about O.J. and his robbery issue. What about this?

I don't consider myself a big fan of capital punishment, and only believe the people who get it should get it for horrible crimes. In those cases, I don't believe people should use lethal injection and other things like that - whatever the crimes are, the punishment needs to somewhat suit it. This person deserves serious punishment.

Okay, next post has to be positive - I need to change this energy.

Busy Bee, and Being P.C.

First of all, I had planned to write more frequently than I currently have, but it looks like work is busier than I anticipated (I've been up to my elbows in projects this week), and I don't have an internet connection right now at the house, so lunch times is about as blog-y as I'll get for a couple weeks.



I can feel that struggle between whether to say what I really feel or to temper it for the sake of not offending people. The truth, I think, is that many things that I think, or at least many "somethings that I've got to say" (what a mouthful of poor English) would be offensive because I'm fairly blunt, admittedly often too emotional, sometimes self-righteous (ouch) and controversial. I also try to tell the truth, which I think my friends can attest for. So while I would call someone out for an issue and want to truthfully express my opinion about things, I also believe that I have to be honest with and about myself. That makes skipping around topics for the sake of being less divisive, less rude, things of the sort, more difficult.

On the other hand, I can look at things from the other side and see that if I felt I was on the other end of someone's vitrol and thought s/he made a huge misstatement, it could piss me off. To the point where I'd say, "Why is it that people can say this stuff online?"

The last thing I'd like to be is controversial for the sake of being controversial - that's lame. That's really lame. Nor would I want to alienate people. But trying to honestly express views, thoughts, opinions, I think that's okay. I do believe open communication is one of the best ways for people to move past their differences to commonalities.

So I'll try to be honest while also trying to be respectful.


That is 'try'.

Wow - lot to catch up on

There's no way I'll be able to catch you up on everything that's happened, but let me summarize (it would be weird to not post for a year, and then start posting as if nothing happened).

Two days after my last post, I started a new job. I was swamped. Didn't have anytime to post while at work (which I suppose is understandable; it is, after all, a job and I had work). But on top of that, I was so tired by the time I'd get home that I'd go to sleep. That and being depressed. So, job that sucked ass, overworking, being depressed, being busy, not making it a priority, quitting job, looking for work, starting new job, being much happier in job and not nearly as overworked.

Oh yeah, and I've moved three times within the last year. Moved --> place near work --> [quit job] --> moved back to original place --> [got new job] --> moved to place near work.

Add to that not being able to remember my password for here, then not knowing which gmail account I connected with this blog, so not knowing where to receive my password hint (you gotta love gmail).

Anyway, the point is I'm finally here, and ready to post again.

Hi all - let's get started! :-)